02: Barr Camp

I’ve heard it said before, “you don’t know what you don’t know.” For better or for worse, that saying has never stopped me from trying. In 2016, I gathered up a group of friends to set out on the long drive from Pennsylvania to Colorado to attend The Restoration of the Heart conference hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and John Eldridge. To varying degrees, my friends and I have all been deeply impacted by the work of both Dan and John; in my mind we had to go, but the conference wasn’t enough. Having spent my whole life hiking in Pennsylvania, this was my first chance to finally climb a big mountain.

            I knew was a big pitch: drive all the way to Colorado, learn from some sages, climb a big mountain, drive all the way back enlightened and victorious, and do all it in 6 days. I worried my friends would say no, but to my surprise and undying gratitude, they all said yes: so, what could go wrong? The drive was a joy and I can attest that – in the spirit of “How I met your mother” – if you listen to “I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) by The Proclaimers” for 500 miles, it does indeed “come around again.” Joking aside, the conference was truly life changing for each of us; I’ll leave a link to the recording in the references below.[1] But what I will say about the conference at this juncture is that Dan Allender’s closing remarks cast a shadow over the rest of our time in Colorado: “Just remember you cannot take someone further than you yourself have gone.”        

            With the conference over our final goal lay ahead of us: an ascent of Pike’s Peak, car to car. I planned this trip, I hike fairly often, so how hard could a 26+ mile hike up a 14,000ft mountain really be? I was certain we could do it in a one-day push with what I know now was minimal preparation and inadequate gear. I was wrong – very wrong! For 3 months I pushed my friends to prepare for this ascent, but in my hubris, I did nothing to prepare. I quickly began to lag behind my friends, and my jeans – yes, I was wearing jeans on a hike, and a cotton t-shirt to make things worse – quickly chafed my thighs. By the time we reached Barr Camp at 10,000ft, I had succumbed to altitude sickness. 

            I had a pounding headache and I felt like I was going to puke. My friends who had followed my advice to train were fine and I urged them to carry on without me. I’ll never forget the kind word of my friend David, “Spencer, you’ve been telling us for months, either we all summit or none of us summit. We’re not leaving you.” I was humiliated. The very words I spoke in arrogance and mistrust were returned to me in kindness. As a group, we decided to descend and I wept in humiliation as we walked. Needless to say, Dan Allender’s words rang in my head, “Just remember you cannot take someone further than you yourself have gone.” As the years have passed, that trip has proved to have been a very formative experience for me. When, “you don’t know what you don’t know,” wisdom is to do your homework.

References:

[1] https://wildatheart.org/rhplay/series/video/restoration-heart